”No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you’re the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.”
Daily adventures
But deep in my heart I know serves us and I believe it is God’s way of making us understand that we are all ONE. Most probably the world I know will be different than the world you will live in.
I know that children choose their parents. I know that children’s souls can be wiser and more mature than the parents’ souls. I am blessed and humbled that you choose me to be your mother. You evolved or better say, you revealed yourself in such a precious human being. You are such a lovely and loving boy.
The mornings when you hug me and tell me: ” let’s cuddle a bit, let’s hug a bit” are priceless. When I prepare you for kindergarten you are half asleep but as soon as you are dressed you are ready to go, fully energized and enthusiastic to go for a new day of learning.
This tells me you are committed and don’t do things with a half measure.
You never leave without first kissing me on my both cheeks, putting your arms around my neck and whispering in my ear: ”I love you”. I accompany you until the door where your father picks you in his arms and you wave at me, send me a kiss with your palm and wish me: ”have fun, mama!”.
You are now at the age of ”why?” and no matter what is my answer it will be followed by a ”but, why?”. Sometimes it can take us in a rollercoaster of tens of questions. My son, I am sorry because sometimes I don’t have the energy to keep up with you, and most of the time you checkmate me. Oh, God, you are such a smart boy!
Since you have a brother (7 months now) you have become more responsible and more loving. When we read stories you always find similarities between the cutest characters and your brother.
When you are sad and I ask you what happened you tell me: ”I don’t say anything, but anything at all and turn your back to me” emphasizing that it hurts. I understand you, little boy, I feel the same sometimes. This past year was a year of discoveries, of many battles that I had to undertake, many downs and few great ups. And every time I was depleted of energy you found a way to charge me.
But well, my boy, we also have bad moments. Moments when we seem to disagree and might take us some time to come to a common ground. You are always fair and willing to meet me at the halfway point so its almost always a win-win situation. Lately, you trick me with the candies. You ask a candy to ”just hold me in my hand, mama…I don’t eat it” and in few minutes you convince me that you earn it and are entitled to eat it.
I could go on and on with our adventures but I will stop here.
I let you with a poem, written by Charlie Chaplin, that brought much awareness in my life and I’m sure it will serve you, sometimes, in your life.
As I began to love myself
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that makes my heart cheer, and I do them in my way and my rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first, I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!
My boy, I wish you the strength to face challenges with confidence…along with the wisdom to choose your battles carefully.