“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Socrates
The inner struggle
We are meant to bend and stretch and grow. Being able to always get up and move forward something we would rather achieve is the beauty of being a human. We are always one decision away from a better life.
Changing jobs, cities, countries, houses, from being single to married or in a relationship, are all forms of soul death and rebirth. We leave something behind that might not work for us and embrace something new that we hope will make us feel whole.
I believe that whether we realize or not, we all go through many soul deaths and rebirths throughout our lives. Sometimes we might not even accept it and we end up in fighting the change. We might choose to stay in the same old situation even it’s the painful one.
How many times we think we want a better life, we want to feel happy, we want to have the same lifestyle as the one we look up to? But how many times we are actually willing to do the work to reach that point?
Change isn’t easy and the way to fulfillment requires lots of work, perseverance, determination, and constant struggle. But it’s so much worth it! Once you are in the process you are on automat pilot, the hard part is the start, to take that damn first step.
I believe that life is too short to stay in a position that no longer serves us, makes us feel unworthy and unhappy, and many times we simply need to rejuvenate our souls, to simply listen to our hearts and do what it longs for.
It is always pleasant this process? You bet it isn’t, but in order to gain more of ourselves -that maybe we didn’t even know existed- we have to lose parts of the older self.
I identify myself with a person eager to discover itself better, not afraid of experiencing something new, but there was a time in my life when I was feeling lost. Every new day was like a meaningless energy drain. I hated it so much but I didn’t know why and I was feeling too tired to try to figure out why.
I was simply scrolling down social media, looking with envy to people that seemed to be so happy and have it all. I felt that life is not fair to me, I used to only cry and complain. Until one day when I felt is already too much and it’s time to make a change. To be that cheerful Ramona that I knew and be happy for all what each day brings to me. I was reading many books and articles and I discovered that I was experiencing the so-called “spiritual death”.
Some of the signs that you might experience a spiritual death
– You feel stuck in life. For about 2 years I felt trapped like I was living the same day over and over and going nowhere. It was required from me to be honest to myself and listen to what my soul wants. I had to take that first step, check the roots of my sufferance and look for solutions. I started some counseling, watched lots of inspirational videos and read lots of books.
– You don’t feel “whole”. Parts of myself felt incomplete like my soul was scattered in places that I haven’t yet found.
– You have troubles sleeping at night. Our subconscious is at work trying to figure it out the transition we are going through. When I left behind a soul-sucking job to follow my gut, I had much sleepless night as my soul tried to catch up with my latest decision. I had nightmares and I kept dreaming about my old workplace. But I believe that like any other process, it takes time to go through pain in order to dust yourself from the old.
– You feel that life isn’t living up to your expectations. I was feeling let down by life and felt like my soul is longing for something more but I haven’t found it yet. So I started searching deeper and more careful.
– You feel pulled in multiple directions. When you feel like life is trying to push you down different paths, you might be experiencing a soul rebirth. You finally recognized that you have limitless potential within yourself and you don’t want to waste it any longer. However, you can’t decide which path to take because you see yourself thriving in various ways. When I “rediscovered” I actually have potential and stays in my power to either make use of it or waste it, I felt enjoyment and panic at the same time.
– You long to have a purpose in life. Probably we all search for a deeper meaning in life and when we experience a soul death we search a little harder. We long for a life when we wake up with excitement, knowing that the day ahead promises fulfillment. At that time we shouldn’t second-guess yourself and simply follow our gut, follow your intuition.
– You constantly feel tired. Not necessarily physically, rather mentally. I couldn’t identify the cause but I realized that no amount of sleep can cure it. The neverending drain of daily life started to wear on myself, and my soul longed for an escape. I had the interior resources but I didn’t know how to access them so I looked for external help. When I started honestly looking, everything aligned and things started coming to me.
– You feel that you don’t belong anywhere. I wanted to have that feeling of belonging. I felt lost. I came across Brené Brown’s book “Daring greatly: how the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead” and suddenly there was light in my life. Once we follow our hearts, our souls will begin to come to alive again and we will feel part of something bigger.
“ Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path”. – Brené Brown
One of the most important lessons from this period of my life is that it’s OK to make mistakes and we should work with our minds instead of trying to change everything on the outside.
As very well Maya Angelou says it: “You might not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them”.
What triggered a change in your life? What inspired you?